Fantastic Troubles - This Is Real

15th October 2010

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This Is Real

Someone should do a sociological survey on the probability that someone will be on a reality show voluntarily, in relation to the degree of bullying they experienced at a formative age. I had my first experience being filmed for a reality show recently and noticed how impossible it is for anyone not to act like a caricature of themselves, or rather, of some idea of what they might be. It was pretty terrifying: as someone who experienced the entirety of adolescence as material fodder for the (often quite clever, actually) mockery of a group of girls, I was immediately taken back to the compulsive face-touching and bra-adjustment of my 13 year old self.

On the other hand, it was sort of beautiful to see a room of late 20 somethings (all of whom fall into that social category which presupposes some degree of reflexive irony) enter into this sort of social contract wherein they perform their identities as explicitly self-conscious offerings to some Other on the other side of the lens. Over the course of the “shoot” there was re-enactment of the adolescent learning curve: from painful self-consciousness to a more comfortable social state, predicated on a degree of understanding that one exists within a social structure which necessitates a certain degree of trust in those around you.

While there is a lot more to be written about this particular experience in relation to the role of assumed identity in our culture of social media, I’m pretty interested for now in the kind of personality that is actually attracted to this rarified (for now, at least) lifestyle, which essentially consists of constantly reliving ones adolescence under the gaze of Other peers. I’d imagine there are enough people out there by now who’ve either been on reality tv shows or are trying to be to generate some decent data.